unconscious....preconscious

I dont wish for these..
They just happen i guess..
Whether im pissed with you..
Or the night gets no rest..

Im so inlove with you..
And its not that hard..
But when i fall asleep..
I think i think too hard..

Its like it all comes true..
Wondering next what do i do..
Fight that dude or break up with you..
In my head all these i might do..

But i cant stop the pain dude..
I cant stop the thinking..
Slit my wrist and cut my throat..
Now ill just start drinking/..

The pain begins to sinking..
But the bottle gets too heavy..
So the blood is filled with poison..'
And the truth begins unsteady.

But the tears flow so hard..
Because that dude right there she's sneaking..
He laughs because he thinks im dumb..
But i can see her thinking.

I know just what youre doing..
I didnt come this to be surprised..
Thats why i sleeep and wake up everyday..
Like my heart was cleaned and fried.

Dont wanna dream no thoughts no more..
Im tired of being angry..
Cause then you get all scared of me..
Depressed and acting strangely/..

I think i need a Dr. dude..
Go find me some kind of help..
Dont know what to believe no more.
My mind,, or myself?

who knew id have to fight that battle, with a girl so dangon sweet..
Id wash her back and comb her hair and massage her three toned feet..
Im ready for that day to come so i dont have to worry bout whats honest..
question is will it show, when im concscious...